bitter.sweets.of.life

that are the new wallpaper I created in Photoshop. you can download it and use it as your desktop wallpaper or something :D

thanks!

below are some inspiration I found on the net, mostly about happiness and life, which totally make my week!

~Being happy doesn't mean you're perfect. It just means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections

~If you think sunshine brings you happiness, then you haven't danced in the rain.

~When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile

~Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be . Abraham Lincoln

~Smile; it's a curve that makes things straight

last nite, my girl friend and me actually intended to watch The Hurt Locker, but the ticket sold out and the only row was left was the front one, so we decided to go with the latest Tim Burton movie, Alice in Wonderland.

As previous movies, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter played some roles in this movie. Tim put terrific visual effects in this movie, very rich 3D environment and also great characters design. The Wonderland – or Underland, is a world full of colorful plants and fantasy animals, well I don’t think you will see a cat which can disappeared at any other movie :)

So yeah, your eyes will be fully spoiled by Tim awesome graphics and visual style in this movie. Well we watched the non 3D version and I heard that the 3D version isn’t as great as they thought it would be.

Sadly, this movie really has a poor dialogs and lots of lame jokes. When I watched this one, I don’t feel like I am on the movie. Tim failed to get the audiences’ emotions, we didn’t get much thrill while the movie was being played. Some characters were totally crazy though, in a positive way. The Red Queen, with a big head, was totally the character who could make us laugh, that character was hilarious!

Anyway, I am a huge fan of Tim Burton, but this movie isn’t as good as everyone expected!

To be honest, the main reason I watched this movie is because Anthony Hopkins was on this movie, and he is such a good actor! For the additional reason, we are all grew with warewolf story, come on who aren’t!

When I enter the teather, I wasn’t expecting much because there was no really a great movie about this creature, and I was correct. Nothing so special about this movie, the story is pretty much predictable and classy. One thing that really stand out is the sound fx though, and I think it was too much exaggerated. Booom this booom that and booom this again, it’s shocking but just too much. I think there was no really 10 minutes without getting surprised because of the sound fx.

I’ve been rejecting you
I’ve been walking all alone to be far away from you
I’ve been ignoring what actually I should listen to
I’ve been leaving you for another heart
I’ve been insisting you to wipe away what you believed in
I’ve been asking you to throw away those feelings
I’ve been making you always wondering and wondering
I’ve been one huge question which stuck in your head
I’ve been one giant disappointment in your romantic story
I’ve been the wrong step you took
I’ve been the shadow in the pass you used to look

But beyond all of that…..

I realized you are the sweetest memory during my tale
I realized how bad I miss that smile
I realized how pathetic I become without you on my side
Without you I become so fragile
I become so lost and confused
I become so empty and flat
I become so unstable and depressed
I become so…………bad

But after all……

I am the one who left alone
I am the one who prays and hopes
I am the one who is wondering
I am the one who is missing
And I am the one who is waiting
I am the one who can’t be “the one” for you

Do you see now I am standing here?
With a bucket of roses, I am wiping my tears
Reminiscing how could you lighten up those days?
You kept me smile, held my feet stand steady
To my world, you have shared your beauty

Now tell me what I am suppose to do
Facing your disappearance is way too hard to be done
Sorrow’s coming when I recalled you are the only fun
Those memories are too sweet to be forgotten
Not with 10 years, hundreds or even thousand

It’s been a while since you left me
But not even a single day I went thru without missing you
I was wondering if you were here, what you would be
Will you tap my back and push me to go thru?
Have I told you that I love you?
I dunno how, but still I love you
I dunno why, but still I miss you
I am and will always be here for you!

I walk slowly on the street of Desperate
Watching those kids crying and holding burden
I can see in their eyes they hope a lot to what we called fate
Not everybody can feel their emotion, because it’s hidden
Hidden and covered by that annoying melody
For me it’s annoying but for them it’s a sound of beauty
From that melody
They capture an image of a table full of rice and vegetables
They imagine a picture of decent clothes to go playing
They seize illustrations of books to go studying and one cute bag pack

Do you think they asked too much?
I am sure they also wonder where the God is
I am afraid they hesitate about His mighty love
All they want to do is keeping their mom’s stove, if they have a mom

Move from one ride to another ride
Sometimes they even show no doubt to fight
Because it’s the requirement to get a penny
They don’t give a damn about the hot weather
They don’t wanna move even it’s raining
I started to wonder do they have a lunch.
I think they have
From the garbage can in the corner of the street
They look for the rice we through away
They fight with those dirty mice
Don’t ask, they drink with no ice
A half of clean water which somebody left will be gold for them

Brothers
Hang on over there
Because I know you don’t have any other place to go
Now I can’t do anything to help you out
But someday I’ll clean up all your problems
Someday we’ll enjoy a decent meal together in one big table
Just hang on, pray and keep struggling!

here is the latest wallpaper I invented!!! comments are greatly welcome!

Comrades
Tell me when those times will come again
I am here still waiting for it to happen
You know I’ll always open my arms for you

Comrades
I wonder what you are doing now
Are you still using your car we always used?
Even now, do you keep my favorite movie in your shelf?

Comrades
Do you know that I am closing my eyes right now?
It’s really hurt to see that you are not next to me
I’ll open my eyes when I can hear your voice

Comrades
If you can spin the wheel of time please do
Make me laugh again with all of you
Let me join with your tears and lend a shoulder to cry on
Allow me to spend all my day to share prayers with you
Consent me to tell you my stories on my past and my dreams on the future
Please do, please

dedicated to all my folks out there

If you are only dream during my night
Please, don’t let anyone wake me up tomorrow
And I pray to the God and hope He will make the longest night I could have
Let me sleep and see you dance next to me
I don’t mind spending my whole week only to see you

If you are only imagination during my muse
Then I wanna be the biggest dreamer
I wanna leave reality and live in my imagination with you
You ain’t my everything
But everything will feel nothing without you

If you are sunshine during my day
Then I will finish my 24 hours with the butterflies on my yard
Dancing and singing happily celebrating your sparkle
So the world know that your existence is the only thing matter

If I can’t have you on this life
Then I pray as much as I can to have you on my next life
So the Angels know how hard live without the one who makes you smile is

“I thought I could rely on you!” it was the way my ex-boss ended his call. I failed to clean up the tower which would be checked by the guy who uses our service in the next day. Back then, my job was actually a technician whose duty like managing the PCs, software and hardware. I also got extra duties such as clean up the air conditioner and helping my boss to maintain the towers. Well, I worked in a game center but the company I worked on has more then one business to run and it includes tower for Telkom Co, if I am not mistaken.

I still quite remember, it was almost late afternoon around 2.30 pm. me and the other 2 guys who actually would clean up the tower, the air conditioner of the tower actually, arrived at area called Gedangan. We had two towers to clean that day, one in the Gedangan and the other in the area which is near with Lapindo’s mud flood. My boss called me and told me that the guy from Telkom will check tomorrow for routine inspection. In addition, he also needed to make sure that the tower and its area are clean; if not then I got another extra task.

To be honest, I found it was pretty grimy. Easily I saw plastic bag and leaves over here and there, it was just NOT neat. I was obviously confused with all of those; I needed to clean that tower and another one which will take an hour to go there. I wanted to leave my job as soon as possible that day; I’ve got a girlfriend to pick up at 5.30pm. That’s why I was in rush. I didn’t clean the tower in a proper way; I just left and went to another one. Even though I extracted everything, I still left the last tower around 5.45pm. My ex-girlfriend was the only thing came up in my mind; I didn’t give a damn about my boss and his craps.

So on the way went to her office, my phone rang and I saw my ex-boss’ name on its display. He was getting mad of me as hell, he said that the guy did the pre-inspection and found everything was dirty. He also mentioned that it was the dirtiest tower he’s ever seen. Thus, my boss decided to go to the tower by himself and see. He demanded me to get to the tower one more time. He hanged up the phone with a sentence and I still have that sentence in my mind, it was “I thought I could rely on you!” That second, I forgot about my ex-girlfriend so I called her and said I couldn’t pick her up that day because of bla bla bla. I prayed to my God and hoped that my ex-boss wouldn’t murder me and he didn’t. God helped me; he made a hard raid around his area so he couldn’t come out of his place. Again, he called me and said that it would be better if we clean up the tower together tomorrow. YAY me…

The point is choosing one, never try to do all the options you have if you actually NEED to choose one. Doing both might be make sense but you are about to notice in the end that it ain’t work.

One fine morning

You finished your breakfast and ready to start your day

You ain’t walking, but you’re running

Cheering up and jumping in your way

You need nothing but her

The only thing you want to see is her charming smile

Because that lovely beauty smile make you feel stronger

But deep in your heart you feel so fragile

I know you won’t slow down

You want to do it fast and immediate

The last thing you wanna do is being late

So just Run son!

Run faster until you imagine how’s your heart crying

It insisted to meet her, make her day, and hold her hand

This is what happened

When you see nothing but her

When you see nothing but beauty

When you see nothing but love!

That gorgeous color
Takes me to the melody of shiny Sunday morning
Ignoring everything, everything and nothing is ignoring me

That gorgeous color
Like a vision of the rainy Tuesday noon
It’s not cold, it’s not hot either, nothing but warm and cool

That gorgeous color
Reflecting infinity of the holy Friday on my sight
Being so close, so deep, no burden and no worries

That gorgeous color
Is nothing but white
Which makes my day
Which makes my smiles
Which makes everything I feel good about

I can't wait to watch incredible hulk! this movie is gonna be awesome!

aaaaa, I hate monday! after enjoying 2 days holiday -well it's not actually a holiday, it's a weekend, but let supposed it's a holiday- I got the summer semester! huff, incredibly fast, damn fast. but I promised, this semester will be better than previous ones!
I just used my free account at Parkland server to make my own website, and here is the result I got so far.

Selasa, 5pm, duduk di lab sambil nunggu rendering buat presentasi besok pagi jam 8, fiuh, rasanya minggu2 ini bener2 penih siksaan dan rintangan, ujian dan laen2. dari 6 ujian and projects, yang selesai cuma javascript, CGI dan game design project (masih ada lagi di game design paperna, hiks hiks) untung masih bisa pompa semangat!
anyway, tadi malem tidur jam 2am, karena nganterin temen ke Hospital dolo terus disana kurang lebih habis 2-3 jam, maklum udah malem2 terus dia harus xray karena knee na bengkok. sampe apartment jam 1an, bingung antara laper and ngantuk, setelah mikir sejenak ternyata lebih milih tidur, jadi cuma grab juice + swiss rolls yang ga cocok banget di makan jam segitu, sebelum tidur buka laptop dolo dan ternyata dapet beberapa email yang "insanely urgent" jadi bales dolo deh sekalian online buat say hi ke temen2, walaupun cuma sejenak.
seperti yang di duga, bangun kesiangan dan sarapan seadanya, terus keluar pintu dan pas banget bus na dateng. sampe di Parkland jam 8, kerjain final project buat game design class yang jam 11 harus udah selesai dan di presentasikan. untung lah, saya dan teman2 se team bekerja sama dan akhirna selesai juga game na. yang bikin aku seneng, game na ga jelek2 amat, malah tergolong bagus, begitu kita presentasikan game and open .exe na, ada yang bilang "wow, it's so cool!" tau kan gimana gembiranya kalo jerih payah kita di hargai ama orang laen!
and yeap, masih ada kurang lebih 4 exams lagi! Semangat!
click here to see my lovely game, left click on the file called "kidnapper.exe"

so, during the final exams weeks, everything is going crazier and crazier, even more! here is my to do list for this 3 Days ::
1. Finish the Kinematics Model (3D Animation Class)
model here means the boxes, spheres, skeletons and joins, the plan of his movement as well.
2. Finishing Final Project of CSC155, create a blog
this is the crazy one, I got really left behind
3. Javascripts final problems
I got 3, one finished and two to go
4. Flash Animation for the Spring show
it's almost done, just need more time
5. Topics in Web Programming labs
I think I only needs one more, I finished the others